What My Life Consists Of...

I feel so pathetic. I have been wanting to update my blog for days now but I did not want to update it with anything surgery, work or baby related. But then the sad realization came:those things are what my life revolves around right now. I have no other life happenings. And so, my urge to post something new has taken over and it is yet another post about surgery and baby.

Jared is doing wonderfully. It is the 21st day after surgery and he is eating with a spoon! (granted sometimes he misses his mouth, but he is doing VERY well!) While he still had to puree everything, he got so sick of using a syringe he made himself learn how to use a spoon again. He only has to rubber band his jaw shut at night now, which makes things so much easier! He even felt like he could function normally enough to go to church today! He rolled up the bread into the tightest ball he could and swallowed it like a pill, and did the best he could with the water, and he even made a comment in Elders quorum! Oh he is growing up so fast! haha (ok healing so fast). This Thursday the doctor gave him the green light to begin some physical activity again. (non-impact exercises like lifting weights and stationary bicycle riding) I think that will help improve Jared's spirits and help him not feel so bored and helpless.

Here are some pictures to show Jared's progress with swelling and recovery. This was taken the 3rd day after surgery. You can see he is trying so hard to open his eyes because the swelling had traveled and his eyes were swelling shut.
This is the 5th day after surgery. The swelling had decreased around his eyes and a little around his jaw.
This was taken last night, so the 20th day after surgery. He is back to normal around his eye area and about the cheekbones, but below the cheekbones he still has very noticable swelling, especially on his right side. But it has improved a LOT!

We are very grateful for his healing well and quickly. I know it is not really quick, and that we still have months and months to go, but he is dramatically better than he was those first days out of surgery. And he even said that he doesnt hate the doctor andymore haha. (Jared was nto a fan of his doctor when he was in so much pain and so miserable. who would?)

As for our baby, she is a little mover. I say she is a born dancer, already dancing in my uterus. But Jared refuses the dancer baby and says she is a basketball/volleyball girl already practicing her moves. Either way, she is moving a lot already.

I am 25 weeks along, only 15 more to go! And I am a little nervous about those 15 weeks. I feel so huge and akward already, and I am dreading getting even bigger and more akward, but I guess thats what comes with pregnancy. haha

I am in the phase now where I should be buying maternity clothes, but I hate wearing clothes anyways, nothing is comfortable, so I am resisting buying new ones (probably the first time in my life). I do not normally wear this tight of a shirt, I just did that for the picture. Thank goodness for the baby doll tees because I have been able to get away with just wearing those so far. My wardrobe of choice (on weekends when I dont have to do anything or when I get home from work) is my robe (big, fluffy, comfortable, loose....what more could a preggo girl ask for?) or sweats and the baggiest shirt I can find.
But I have made it through six months (almost, I am in my sixth month) of this and only a few more to go! The end is in sight.....somedays => haha

I have been really lucky tho, I have had a good pregnancy. Besides getting the flu and the feeling nauseous all the time in the first trimester, there is nothing really big to complain about. (although I do have to go back and get one of those HUGE shots in my hip again next month, I'm not looking forward to that very much) I can say being pregnant is definately not my favorite thing, but I have been extremely blessed to have a relatively easy pregnancy. Since I found out I was pregnant people feel the need to tell me all their pregnancy horror stories and it made me very nervous and scared. I like to think of this good pregnancy as a blessing from the Lord, because he knows if this was a bad one He would have to have some huge convincing miracle for me to have another one. But this has been good, so I am not totally opposed to doing it again => haha And we are leaning towards the name Paige Arlene for our little baby girl!

My New Husband

It is not every life that a woman gets to be married to the same man but have two different husbands. haha Jared's surgery was major, and it majorly changed his apperance. This is a profile picture of Jared on our cruise in August, so about 4 months before his surgery.
And here is a profile picture we took of Jared yesterday. (we take pictures every day to document the swelling)

He still has a bunch of swelling, but this gives you a general idea of the major change. Both he and I are very interested to see what he will look like after all the swelling goes away (in 3-6 months or more according to his doctor) As for now, I love him and still find him incredibly handsome (even with a huge swollen face) and we are just trying to get through these recovery periods with as much comfort and ease as possible.

My Addiction Confession

I have an addiction, and according to Jared it is a pretty severe one. I am addicted to F*R*I*E*N*D*S. This is no laughing matter. That show is practically all I can think about. If I am not watching it, I am thinking about watching it. I even dream in FRIENDS episodes. I watch it so much even my husband dreams about the characters (although he has refused to sit and watch it with me for a couple days now, it has been inbedded him). The full series of FRIENDS is the one present Jared is truly regreting giving me for Christmas. I have owned it for a little over two weeks now and have already watched 121 of the 236 episodes. As you can imagine, it takes up much time, aditional time I have to spend away from my loving husband (because he refuses to watch more). It is not that I don't love you Jared, but I just NEED my FRIENDS......... yes, its a problem.

She Moves!

Last night was the first night Jared and I felt our little one move! Yippie!!
People have been asking me if I had felt her move yet, and it was starting to get me really concerned (also the fact that I am not as big as other people as pregnant as me). And me being the worry wart that I am, did not make for some calming thoughts. Then two nights ago I had a really weird sensation in my stomach when we were lying in bed getting ready to sleep. I didn't know what it was, and I couldn't really describe it so I mentioned it to Jared, but we both figured it was no big deal or that it might possibly be the baby. Well, last night I felt it again. There was enough light to see, so I looked at my stomach. It was the weirdest thing, I could see the part that felt weird poke in and out. It was our baby pushing out my stomach! So I told Jared where to put his hand and he felt it too!!
Let me tell you, it is a weird thought to think that something other than you is living in you and moving on their own accord. But it is amazing at the same time! And the reality that we are going to actually have a baby person and I am not just getting a round stomach is starting to sink in more (although not totally).
But I am happy to report that our baby is heathy, alive and kicking!! =>

New Year Festivities

I forgot I did not write about our new year festivities, and I suppose now is as good of time as any.

As any good celebration party should have, we got a cookie cake from the Cookie Co. That place is so good to us! We asked for extra icing (because thats the best part) and they gave us a good amount! And my Mom had to show it off like Vana White. =>
The giant cookie was not our ony food. Our whole breakfast table was covered with delicious snacks! I took this picture about halfway thru the getting out food process. We later took al the paper goods off the table and replaced it with more food, which is of course, the best part of parties. =>
While waiting for the big moment we played charades, watched a movie, chatted, then finally it came! The ball dropped and poppers were popping.
Happy New Year!! Welcome 2010! => I like that in the picture of my family I caught my Mom and Dad going for their New Years Kiss, and Jared and I have a picture of our New Years kiss! Oh so romantic! =>
January first the fam went to see Avatar in 3d. Jared has taken some of the boys to watch it earlier in the week and they loved it, so we figured it was worth it, and it would be cool to see in 3d. And for some reason in this picture I look totally fat pregnant. I find it kind of depressing, but I guess such is life. There are flattering pictures and not, this is the latter. But is was a good movie, and worth it =>
After the movie we dropped Kalyn off at home (she was feeling under the weather) and the rest of us went to eat at Tommys! JAred had never been there before, and of course my Dad could not pass up the opportunity to educate his son-in-law on the finer foods in life. => We were going to go to the original one, in downtown LA, but it was too far away and my Mom was nervous about taking all the boys down there, so we settled for the closer one.
Look at all that delicious, greasy, chilie filled food! Yumm!! The little boys were excited to be there, its like better than McDonalds for them, because they only get to go once in a blue moon.

My Dad was entirely too excited to be there and eating this food. Jared liked it, he said it was very good. And this picture catches Jared enjoying his food/chuckiling at my Dad raving about it, and my Dad bursting with satisfaction and joy. haha Priceless.
The next day was Kalyn's little incident. She fainted int he bathroom, hit her head on the floor, and then couldn't feel or use her arms/hands. Jared was down the hall and saw the whole thing pan out, got to her right as she was making contact with the ground. He and my Dad gave her a blessign and then the paramedics came. They were really nice and calm men. What a blessing they are! They put Kalyn in all this gear then on a stretcher and out to the ambulence.
It was a cool sight to see the fire engine, paramedic truck, and ambulence in front of our house. Mom rode in the front of the ambulence to the hospital and Dad drove his car and followed them. After all the hospital tests and stuff Kalyn was released, and now she is all better and partying in London!

After we found out Kalyn would be ok and my Dad came back to get the boys Jared and I headed back to Utah to start the other exciting phase of this year, his surgery. Yep, all this excitement within a week. What a week. haha But hey, we can say that 2010 definately started off with a unique bang =>

He is Amazing

It has been six days since Jared had his mouth cut up. And let me tell you, those six days have been one heck of a roller coaster. From Monday to Friday the most sleep I ever got in one night was 3 hours, and the least sleep I got was 45 minutes. I kid you not! Needless to say I was exhausted! Jared got that much sleep too, but he took naps during the day. I couldn't, I was at work. So its no suprise when my body tries to give up and catch a cold, but I will not let it! Health will prevail!

As for Jared, it really depends on the time of day whether he is feeling good or crappy. Sometimes he is up and moving around, getting food and medicine himself, and others he is just able to hang in there. The recovery time period for this surgery is 3 months until he is "almost normal", so in all reality more than three months. Adn the worst it is supposed to be is in the first 2 1/2 to 3 weeks. So, he is right in the thick of it, but doing temendously.

He never ceases to amaze me, and having this surgery is no different. Yes there are moments when he wishes he never did it, or when he is having a hard time, but those can be expected and they are few and far between. He is so strong about it all. He tries very hard to not be so dependant on everyone, and even to help. Even what he has to do becaue of the surgery is amazing. He has to learn how to function his mouth. And that is no small task. He needs to learn how to move his mouth to talk (although that is later in the recovery process), how to chew (also later), and he needs to teach himself how to swallow. Teaching yourself how to swallow is what amazes me the most! No one has to naturally do that! You naturally have to learn how to walk, talk, ride a bike, etc, but you come out of the womb knowing how to swallow. You even swallow in the womb from 20 weeks. I am just amazed that he is teaching himself something that should be natural and instinctive. Just thinking about al the times I swallow, and everything that goes into it makes me exhausted. Swallowing is hard work. And if swallowing with a whole new, and swollen mouth is not difficult enough, the only thing Jared can feel is his tounge. (because they stretched out the nerves in the surgery they will stay numb for at least 2 weeks, most likely months)His jaw, cheeks, and lips are all numb.

Ok, I will continue raving how amazing my husband is another time. Now its time for pictures! =>

This is Jared before the surgery, just waiting to be rolled up. He is trying to pretend that he is out of commission and all sick, but he had no idea what was coming to him. haha
This is the day of surgery, a couple hours after the surgery was finished.This is Tuesday, the day after surgery. He has swollen a lot in this picture, but he is even more swollen now. We do take a picture at least once a day to track the swelling and de swelling progress, I just have not uploaded the most recent ones to my computer yet. But I can describe him. I will quote from his surgeon "He will look like a Who from the Grinch, with sausage lips". Yep, I think that is pretty accurate. But also add that his eyes will swell to little slivers, not even close to the big eyes he has in the last picture.

That is our little update. To summaraize, we are still alive and fighting thru this recovery process. =>

Starting Off the New Year.... Right...?

This year has been an eventful one. Yes, I know it has only been four days long, but those four days have been full of interesting events.

It started off on January 2nd when Kalyn had her little "event". She started feeling sick on the first, with just the thing going around (sore throat and cough). Then on the morning of the second she threw up, and shortly after she fainted. A whole full on faint while standing up and brushing her teeth. She fell in the bathroom and hit her head on the floor and was unconscious (for about 45 seconds) Jared was walking down the hall (we were leaving that moment) and saw the whole thing and was able to catch her hands as she was falling. So 911 was called, while we waited Dad and Jared gave her a blessing, they came, started doing their little tests on Kalyn, and she could not move or feel her arms and hands. They took her to the hospital in an ambulance and did a CAT scan and all other sorts of tests. By the time the doctors were done with their tests Kalyn had regained the use and feeling in her arms and hands, and they sent her home. What a great manifestation of the power of the priesthood!!

That was hospital encounter number one.

Hospital encounter number two came somewhat voluntarily (I was not willing, Jared was). It is for Jared's jaw surgery. This is the surgery all doctors had been telling Jared he needed to have since he was like 5 years old. To shortly and briefly sum up the purpose of the surgery: one side of Jared's lower jaw grew longer than the other, so they had to cut both sides of his lower jaw and move it back, then cut both sides of his top jaw and move it forward. This procedure could not be done until now because the doctors had to be sure Jared had stopped growing and get his mouth properly set up for it.
This surgery took place today. That is where I currently am, in the hospital. Jared's mom came down on Sunday and is going to stay for the week to help look after Jared. All three of us got to the hospital at 6:00am and started all the pre-surgery stuff. They began Jared's surgery at 8:30am. I had to leave then and go to work but Karen was able to stay at the hospital and be here when Jared got out. His surgery finished around 1:00pm (yes a 4 1/2 hour surgery) I came back to the hospital after work (around 3:30pm) and he was just coming out of the anesthesia.

The surgery went well. Jared's jaw did not crack so they did not have to wire his mouth shut, which is a huge relief. And Jared did not die on the table (what I was so scared for) and that is an even bigger relief! Now it is just the long recovery process. He is not going to be able to chew anything for at least six weeks, which means all liquid meals. The doctor said that the surgery will significantly change his appearance (no joke, moving his whole bottom half of his face around), but in addition to that his face should be swollen to almost the point of nonrecognition for the first two weeks. After that the doctor said he will still be swollen and look like a Who from the Grinch. And to fully get to normal should take at least three months, most likely more.

I don't know how I feel about that. I love Jared so much, and I hate seeing him uncomfortable or in pain. And believe you me, he is in a lot of pain right now, and I can't do anything about it. It is driving me crazy!! I just want to make him all better! But I can't. All I can do is sit and watch, and aid in any minute way I can. But I also know that this surgery needed to be done, and we are greatly blessed to have the opportunity and ability to have it done now. This will be a good lesson of patience, hopefully I can learn to have some so I only have to go thru it once haha. And I know both Jared and I will learn to rely on our Father in Heaven even more, for He is the only one who can truly do anything to help.
I am grateful for the opportunity and ability Jared had to get this surgery done. And I am glad he will have a better and easier time because of it. I am especially thankful that the surgery went well and that Jared is alive. And I am so thankful and indebted to my Father in Heaven for all He has done for me and my family. And even though this year started out with two dramatic hospital trips I hope its not an indication that this is how the whole year will go. I am shooting for just one more visit to a hospital (in May to get my baby out of me) and then not to be back for a looooong time. => So here is to a Happy New year, and to its very interesting start! =>

Feeding the Homeless

On Monday (the 28th of December) Jared and I had the opportunity to chaperon the youth of the Las Flores ward and feed the homeless down in Los Angeles. The youth do this every year, and have done it since before I was in young womens. My Dad has a calling in Young Men's, so he was going, and allowed Jared and I to come too. It is such a neat experience.

Jared drove the food car. I like to think we were the most important car because without us, they would have had nothing to give the the homeless. haha Kalyn and Kimmy came with us too!

I am constantly amazed at the workings of our church, but that day I was amazed at the youth. They needed little instruction and just organized themselves in an assembly line and packed and made the lunches.

They were all so great, and they all helped so willingly and excitedly. The homeless were guided to make a line and when the youth finished packing a lunch they would personally deliver it to the people in the line. I am so grateful to be part of a church that encourages service and selflessness, it really is a thing of beauty.

Trey, Kalyn, and Kimberly after selflessly serving the homeless. Great job guys!

Me and my love in Skid Row in downtown LA.

Even though I have gone to downtown LA and fed the homeless many times it never ceases to amaze me. I am one, amazed at the quantity of people down there, and two amazed at the immense love my family and Father in Heaven has for me. I am eternally grateful for the gospel and for the love and support of family, and for all the blessings I receive.

Merry Christmas!!

Happy Christmas! Santa definately came to the Walker house!

The morning started out by the little boys waking up early then going around the bedrooms (with Mom) and caroling everyone awake. They were so happy to be up and it be Christmas!

Next there was the traditional eye closing train to the kitchen (Santa normally leaves candy in the stockings, and you have to eat breakfast before we can eat candy) But legend has it that if you peek to see if Santa came, before its time to open presents that all the presents will disappear. So we make a train of closing eyes (youngest to oldest)and Mom leads everyone to the kitchen. I caught this picture right as the train was dispersing.
After breakfast the youngest kid goes with Dad to see if Santa came. And he did! He ate all the fudge we left out for him and the reindeers gobbled up the carrots, and Santa even left us a note! The three little boys took turns reading parts of the note aloud to everyone!
Then it was time to open the presents! Dad is always in charge of passing the presents out, he does such a good job with it. Look at that beautiful tree and all those presents! =>
It just so happens that the boys all got blue robes for Christmas. Mom had planned it for Trey, Kaden, Cameron, and Cole and I had bought Jared one without knowing her plan. So it was a fun suprise to see them all with their robes. And now everyone has a robe! Mom, Kalyn and I have matching pink robes that we got a couple Christmases ago, Dad has a dark blue one, and now all the other boys have dark blue ones! We are just a robe full family! =>
Me and my love on our second Christmas together!
Actually its me, my love, and our little one! Thats a crazy thought! =>
I couldn't get the little boys to stop playing with their toys long enough to take a picture of them in their matching jammies, but I did get one of the big boys in their matching jammies! Aren't they so handsome!?!
Later that day/evening we went over to Gram and Pa's house to see the rest of the family. While we were there the fam presented Gram and Pa witht heir family present (Jenny collected pictures and favorite thoughts about Gram & Pa and put the into seprate books. One book all about Pa and one all about Gram) And the fun part is that Lindsey & Zach and Jenny and her kids got to watch them open their presents via the internet (Skype). That was a fun treat! (Jenny was on the computer on the chair and Lindsey was on the computer Kayln is holding)
They loved their books! That was such a great idea for a present, and I am so glad I was able to contribute to it!

I love Christmas time and I am so thankful that Jared and I could come down to California to spend it with my family this year! I love celebrations, I love Chrsitmas, and I love my family!!

Christmas Eve Traditions!

Christmas Eve is where most of my families traditions come into play. It is kind of like a big party. We start off Christmas Eve by having a big dinner. My Mom's friend Lee and her kids come over as well as a lady in our ward Lisa and her grandson. After dinner starts the festivities.
We first play Christmas Bingo. My mom had made all these cards and colored them a couple years ago. You don't win any prize, but its fun to go a couple rounds at this game.
After the bingo everyone gets in a circle and we play the pass the present game (i don't know what the technical name for it is). My Dad will read "The Night Before Christmas" and everytime he says the word "the" we pass the present we have to the left. And when the story finishes you unwrap and keep the present you end up with.
The next thing, and probably the biggest of the night, is the reenactment of the Nativity. We draw characters out of a bowl (Mary, Joseph, Donkey, 3 Wise Men, 2 Angles, 2-3 Shepherds, Inn Keeper, and Choir {basically choir is everyone else}), dress up as them, and act out the Nativity.
A lot of years back my Mom made many copies of the Nativity program so that everyone can follow along. The program has scriptures, songs, and quotes depicting the Nativity story. My Dad narrates the story, and people follow along and enjoy the presentation.
Then a new tradition that we started a couple years ago is to go out on our patio and sing Christmas songs. Lee brings over the candles and we sing as many songs as we can think of.


Throughout the whole night my Dad and the little boys are tracking Santa on the interent. They can see footage of Santa caught by the army, NASA, etc and when he is getting close they know its time to go to bed. We also unwrap one present on Christmas Eve after all the guests go home. The present is always pajamas, but it is still fun to get. And this year all the girls got matching ones, the "big" boys got matching ones, and the "little" boys got matching ones.

I love Christmas and I love being here with my family, and I love all our traditions we have!

We Are Having....

On Wednesday I worked until noon, then Jared and I went to the doctors to find out the gender of our baby! I can say that ultrasound is one of the coolest things I have ever seen! Our baby is 100% healthy and as it should be! And it gave a clear shot of its "parts" so there was a definate surity (ok as much comes with an ultra sound, you can never be sure sure until the baby comes out =>) We even got a copy of the whole ultrasound on a dvd as well as the pictures they printed out (ill scan those in when we get back home) And the result it:

We are having a baby Girl!

After we found out that wonderful news we headed straight down to California to be with my side of the family for Christmas! And I kept the gender a secret the whole way! I had planned how to tell my family the gender of our baby for over a month now, and there was no way I was going to spoil it haha. I had bought almost 280 jelly beans (140 in green and 140 in red) and the game was: Each color stood for a gender (green=girl, red=boy) and whichever color has more, thats what the gender of our baby is. Jared would eat one jelly bean of the color its not (so he ate one red because our baby was not a boy, therefore green would have more jelly beans, telling the family it was a girl)

We got to my parents house around 10:30pm and the little boys were already asleep, so we decided to wait until morning to let the family find out. It was good, and everyone agreed to it, but it did make Mom and Kalyn want to know even more. They were just dying to know. haha And at that time I had not decided which color was going to represent which gender, so I appreciated the extra time. In the morning I set up this white board and put the jar by it so they knew which gender the colors represented.
279 jelly beans for the counting. We waited until everyone was awake and home and then we let them have at the counting!
My dad was video taping the whole event and Jared and I were standing back and watching the madness. And let me tell you, it was quite the funny thing to watch. Everyone was so anxious and excited and trying to move so fast, it made for some good amusement.
The tactic they came up with was to put the beans in piles of 10. But they were so excited some piles had 11 some 8 or even 12. And occasionally piles would be scattered into big ones.... so they had to recount a couple times. =>

When they finally felt confident enough in their number Mom and Kalyn just about couldn't contain themselves, and when we told them that they were right, that there was more green and that it was a GIRL Mom and Kalyn let out the biggest screams and jumped all around. I am so glad my Dad recorded it, because that is definately something you want to keep for all posterity to see. haha

Jared and I are very thrilled to be having a girl, but truth be told we would have been fine with any gender as long as it is healthy! And according to doctors our little girl is very healthy and even a week bigger than the average baby her age (although they changed my due date from May 7 to May 12, so pushing it back almost a week.....) That makes me a little more nervous for delivery, but how can Jared and I NOT have a bigger than average baby? haha And as for the due date, I still say the baby will come around the 7th, so we will see who is right me or the doctors haha. But the baby will come when she is good and ready => We are excited to be having a little girl and evevn more excited that she is healthy!

As for names, the middle name will be Arlene. Both Jared and I have Grandmas named Arlene (and they are both ones that passed away prematurely) so we feel like that should be the middle name. As for the first name, we haven't chosen yet, and our list changes from week to week. The list this week is: Makayla, Lia, Callie, Keira, and Miley (ok Jared doesn't liek Miley but thats my favorite, so I jeep it in there anyways) =>

Cutest Husband Ever!

I love Jared! I love him for so many reasons, and if I wrote them all down it would be the longest list anyone has ever saw. But today I want to mention two happenings that made me love him even more!

On Friday Jared and I watched the movie "Julie & Julia". This movie is cute, but it made me really hungry, but it just made Jared want to cook something. I was in the mood for stew (a dish they repeatedly have in the movie reminded me of stew) but Jared wanted "To cook man food, something I can bite into". So we compromised. He would be able to cook mashed potatoes, rolls, and fancy green beans while I ran to the store and got a rotisery chicken. (I got my relatively fast meal and he got man food)

When I got home, not only did he have all his delicious food ready and on the table he also decotrated it with fancy glasses and candles! It was like a fairy tale! He is so romantic! =>

Another recent event happened Sunday night. We have our ultra-sound to find out the gender of our baby on Wednesday (yes, tomorrow!!!) and I have been nervous about it. I am so excited to find out what we are having and to suprise my family with it! but I am nervous that BECAUSE I am so excited our baby will be stubborn and not let us see. Jared is cute and will talk to my belly and on Sunday night he said, "If this is a Dax, do Daddy a favor and show off your wang to the world this Wednesday. If this is a Callie, this is the only time you are allowed to do this but just let us know who you are on Wednesday". Isn't that just the cutest thing? I just about cried I loved it so much, but my laughing kept me from tears. =>

I love Jared! Especially all teh cute and funny things he does! And I am excited to find out what we are having tomorrow! (hopefully) =>

The True Meaning Of Christmas!

Its Christmas time, its Christmas time!!! I LOVE this time of the year! And although I have been slacking in the decorating department (only two decorations up and no tree yet) I still try to get into the Christmas spirit! I have made Christmas treats (fudge), listened to Christmas music, etc. My uncle emailed the family a copy of a talk my Grandpa Pommerville gave last Christmas, the subject was "The True Meaning of Christmas". I thought this would be a good way to bring good Christmas spirit to my blog, and to let others enjoy the great insite my Grandpa had on this subject! It is a little lengthy, but its worth the five minutes to read. Enjoy!


The True Meaning of Christmas

Every time we hear that a speaker’s topic is “The True Meaning of Christmas”, we know that the talk will begin by stating that Christmas isn’t really about Santa Claus, or presents, or parties, or Christmas bonuses, or big dinners – wait, we might have to make an exception for big dinners. But you will hear that Christmas is about the babe born in Bethlehem over 2000 years ago, and in one sense, it is. But in fact, it is really about something more – something so immense in scope that it is always difficult for us to fully comprehend it.

All of our Heavenly Father’s planning and preparation, all of his interest in his children and all of his desires for them, all of his aims and goals for the entire universe, came down to a singular moment in a specific time and place on this earth in a garden called Gethsemane, and at a place called Golgotha, and in a Garden Tomb; all of which are located outside of the walls of the city of Jerusalem in the Kingdom of Judah. Without these three places and what happened in them in God’s eternal plan, everything else would have been a colossal waste – everything. Without the events involving one particular Man in that olive vineyard over two thousand years ago, God’s purposes would have been utterly frustrated. Sin, death, decay, destruction, hell, and endless torment would reign supreme forever and ever. If Gethsemane and Golgotha had turned out to be places associated with suffering and failure rather than suffering and triumph, everything that went before and everything that came afterward would have been reduced to a series of meaningless events in the eternal scheme of things, for there would have been no eternal life. Deterioration, disorder, and chaos would ultimately fill the vastness of the universe; all beauty, human kindness, refinement, and acts of goodness would be forgotten as wasted energy. Truly, Gethsemane was the place where eternity hung in the balance.

Scientists tell us that the natural order of things in our universe is an irrevocable, steady movement toward decay: from life to death, from organization to chaos, from a condition or state of lesser degeneration to one of greater degeneration (a concept called entropy). This state of being is true for all kingdoms and creations – animals, plants, stars, and other systems. Without Christ’s atonement, human beings and the worlds on which they reside would be locked forever in the vise grip of death and dissolution. But with and through Christ’s atonement, all things are made new. The process of decay is not only halted but reversed. Because of the Atonement, which includes the events in Gethsemane as well as those at Golgotha and in the Garden Tomb, all things in the universe are empowered, renewed, and revitalized. Thus, Christ is the light and the life of the world.

Alma fully understood and taught exactly what the atonement means. (Read Alma 7:10-13)
“10. And behold, he shall be born of Mary, at Jerusalem which is the land of our forefathers, she being a virgin, a precious and chosen vessel, who shall be overshadowed and conceive by the power of the Holy Ghost, and bring forth a son, yea, even the Son of God.

“11. And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.

“12. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

“13. Now the spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance; and now behold this is the testimony which is in me.”

It seems that suffering for our sins was only part of the great atoning sacrifice of the Savior in the Garden and at Golgotha – He also suffered for our pains, our sicknesses and our infirmities; and He suffered to save us all from death and from meaninglessness. We will all live forever because of Him. He also suffered to provide a way for those of His children who would be obedient and humbly accept His gospel and endure to the end to be exalted and to live forever in the presence of God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ.

Please pay attention to a statement by C.S. Lewis concerning the Savior’s temptation and atoning experience:

“No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is; after all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not be giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives into temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later.

“That is why bad people in one sense know very little about badness. They’ve always lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because he was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means – the only complete realist.”

Yes, Christmas is about the child lying in the manger in Bethlehem, but only because that child symbolizes what it was he was sent to this earth to do. The great and infinite atoning sacrifice of the Savior Jesus Christ – the eternity shaping events in Gethsemane, at Golgotha and at the Garden Tomb – made life for all of us meaningful and significant. Thus, Christmas is about us, about you, about me, it is about the man and the woman that we now are, and it is about the man and the woman that we may become. It matters that we learn to forgive others, that we perform many acts of goodness and kindness, that we learn to love everyone, that we build families into eternal units of exaltation and glory, that we learn, finally, to give all that we have and are and all that we ever will have or be to our Father in Heaven and to trust Him in everything. I testify that Jesus, the babe of Bethlehem, is the maker and finisher of our salvation, our Savior, the great Jehovah, God of Heaven and Earth, our friend and advocate with the Father. I know Him – I trust Him – and I love Him.

That we might learn to become the very best we can be, that we might learn to become more like the Savior each and every day of our lives, that is what Christmas is really about, and it is my prayer that we might so live and so learn, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Lights In Temple Square!

My dad and Trey drove up from CA yesterday. Kalyn's semester at BYU ended and she was moving home for a couple weeks so they had to come up and get all her stuff. After they packed up the van they came to mine and Jared's apartment (which is where they stayed the night). And we decided to go see the lights at Temple Square!

I love Christmas time! And one of the things I love about it are all the lights!! I just can't get enough lights, and temple square has plenty of lights to see! This was Jared's first time on Temple Square at Christmas time! He was amazed at the volume of lights they had!
There were nice people there who took a picture of the whole family!
I love that Dad and Trey were able to come up! And I find it funny that in this picture I am the shortest one. haha That is unique for me, but not around my family.
Kalyn and I took a picture in front of the relief society building.
I thought the wreath of the building was so pretty, so we took a sister picture by it! There are some days that Kalyn and I look like sisters and some that we dont, I think last night we didn't. haha And you can see my baby bump under the coat. I predict about three weeks until I can't zip up that coat anymore. =>
Jared took this picture of the temple and lights. I love temple square at Christmas!!!
Kalyn and Trey were playing around, dancing and singning in the lights!
My love and I enjoying the lights at Temple Square! After temple square we went to PF Changs for dinner. I had been wanting their lettuce wraps, and Dad had never been there. We all loved it! It was a great way to end our little Salt Lake adventure! I am so grateful Dad and Trey could come up and we could all play! And I am so excited to go down to California next week and play with them for more than a night!

Sensitive Skin VS Hypo Allergenic

I have ultra sensitive skin, thats no secret nor is it a new thing. I have to be super careful on what I put on it. No scented lotions bodywashes ect, only certain kinds of perfumes and hair sprays, limited kinds of chapstick and lotion, etc..... trust me the list goes on and on. And there is not one ingredient that I have to stay away from, its a plethora of things, which basically means I find out what I am allergic to by trial and error. For most major things (lotion, make up, shampoo, bodywash) I have found some that work with me and not against me. But I have not found any lip gloss that works with me. All I can wear is the vasaline and the plain chapstick brand chapstick. This drives me crazy!


I love lip glosses and feel so pretty when I wear them. So last week I was at Target restocking on my makeup and I saw this "hypo-allergenic" lip gloss in the perfect color! I read the ingredient (like that would help, but it made me feel better) and it was 98.5% all natural ingredients (it was advertised on the pouch it came in) I thought this could be my momentous occasion, to finally have a lipgloss that I could wear! So I bought it, brought it home and couldn't wait for Sunday so I could try it out and look drop dead gorgeous for Jared!


Well Sunday came around, I got ready and put on my lipgloss. I looked good! => It was just one of those days when you know you look good and its a major confidence booster. That night Jared had some friends come over for dinner. That went great but my lips were starting to be irritated just a little. Like a faint burn/itching sensation. I didn't think much of it because as soon as I started eating it went away. But as the guests all left I began to notice it more. I still didn't think it was an allergic reaction but I knew the lips were not happy with me. So I put on my lip medicine and went to bed.

The next morning I woke up with swollen lips that just burned. Thats when Jared and I decided the "hypo-allergenic" lipgloss was a fake, and it should be called hypER allergenic. This was one of the worst reactions my lips have had in a long time. But I just put more lip medicine on and went to work.

I took this picture at work because my lips were burning so bad I wanted to see if ther was an outward physical sign of the burning. Yes I half expected fire or something. But there wasn't, and this picture you can see the swollen lips. (yes htta night we went to the basketball game and you can see my bigger than normal lips in that picture too)

This is where the story gets gross, so I will omit details. just know that when I got home that night and went to bed my lips were still burning like all get out and puffy. I hardly got a good nights sleep because my lips had swollen as big as they could go, but apparently wanted to swell more, so they started making little puss bubbles that would leak. So when I woke up for work the next morning with HUGE lips that were burning and stinging (basically hurting like the dickens), and crap coming out occasionally, Jared and I decided it would be a wise thing for me to stay home and go to the doctors to see what I can and can't (can't because I am pregnant) do for this. The doctor gave me some pills to take, told me to keep putting the medicine on my lips and that I would have to "tough it out" until my body got through this little reaction. (and at the doctors is where we found out that puss was happening because it could not swell up anymore)

I did not want to take a picture of it because trust me, it was gross. But just imagine the picture above but with double the lip size. No joke! Jared nicknamed me Alyssa-lina Jolie. And now, a week later my lips are back to normal size but still not completely healed. Moral of this story: Alyssa has dumb sensitive skin and hypo-allergenic stuff does NOT get along with it! And hypo-allergenic stuff is sometimes hyper-allergenic.